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Recruiting – Extremist Style

mangs-bookDuring President Obama’s recent press conference he stated that Gitmo is used as a recruitment tool for extremists. This is not a new theme for him and it hearkens back to repeated claims he made during the 2008 election. But is Gitmo really used as a recruiting tool? It’s not as if al Qaeda had much trouble recruiting jihadists before the Gitmo detention center opened. Blind loyalty to a fascist-religious cause requires no great recruitment effort. The Spanish Inquisition had them lining up at the door.

Gitmo as a recruiting tool is a subject I discuss in my book, The Constitution – I’m Not Kidding and Other Tales of Liberal Folly. Below is an excerpt from Chapter 6, where I outline a possible scenario – an al Qaeda recruiter meeting with a potential recruit:

Recruiter: I’ve been watching you pray.
Recruit: I wasn’t praying. I just lost my contact lens.
Recruiter: Sorry, but you looked convincing.
Recruit: It’s not that I don’t pray, but, well, you know, my insurance doesn’t cover replacements.
Recruiter: I understand. But when you pray, do you do it like that?
Recruit: I don’t know. I guess so.
Recruiter: We are always looking for true believers. Are you a true believer?
Recruit: In what?
Recruiter: Jihad, of course.
Recruit: Um, sure. But I usually have breakfast first. I think jihad is much better after some oatmeal and coffee.
Recruiter: I think we could use you. Do you like virgins?
Recruit: That’s rather personal. I’ve never actually…..
Recruiter: If a jihadist dies for the cause he will be met by 72 virgins in heaven.
Recruit: That’s a lot of virgins. I’m not sure I’ve got the stamina, shouldn’t I practice some on earth first?
Recruiter: There is no time. Do you hate the American infidels?
Recruit: Um, well, sure. Except Justin Beiber. I call him J Beib. I follow him on Twitter.
Recruiter: I think he’s actually Canadian.
Recruit: Really? Then down with the American infidels!
Recruiter: What about Gitmo? Do you despise it?
Recruit: Isn’t that a gas station?
Recruiter: No, not CITGO. Gitmo. Guantanamo Bay. The American prison in Cuba. They already have many of your brother jihadists there.
Recruit: The Americans have a prison in Cuba? I thought the whole country was a prison?
Recruiter: Well, yes, but the Americans have a military prison there. They send all of your brother jihadists they capture there.
Recruit? How are they treated there? Do they get to pray?
Recruiter: Yes.
Recruit: Do they feed them?
Recruiter: Yes. Pretty well, I hear.
Recruit: How is the medical care?
Recruiter: Much better than in Havana.
Recruit: And the weather?
Recruiter: Tropical.
Recruit: I’m in!

Obama is right; Gitmo is still used as a recruiting tool. They can’t wait to get in.

Curtice Mang is the author of the new book, The Constitution – I’m Not Kidding and Other Tales of Liberal Folly. He can be contacted at, where one can also purchase his book; or contact Curtice at mangwrites at


1 Jim at Asylum Watch { 05.01.13 at 1:18 pm }

When ObamaCare is in full force, the elderly might want to be jiadists and go to GITMO so than can get medical treatment.


2 nubwaxer { 05.03.13 at 8:08 pm }

quack quack quack. what a bunch of baloney.


3 Curtice Mang { 05.04.13 at 12:13 pm }

I think he was one quack short.


Martin Reply:

Yeah, really quacked me up.


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