President Obama quipped last week that he has his own naughty or nice list for Congress as part of the “fiscal cliff” negotiations. It sounds a bit like Nixon’s enemies list and let’s not forget that Obama did talk about revenge in the latter stages of the 2012 campaign. With that in mind, let’s take a stab at who might be on Obama’s naughty or nice lists.
Any member of Congress with an “R” after their name: Naughty
Any member of Congress with a “D” after their name: Nice
Hillary Clinton: Nice, but only for about six more weeks
John McCain: As mentioned above, Naughty, but also racist
Susan Rice: Naughty, but on Obama’s side
Joe Biden: Neither Naughty or Nice, just dopey
Eric Holder: Naughty and Nice, but with an alibi
General David Petraeus: Ahem, Naughty, (Nudge, nudge)
Justice John Roberts: Really, really, really, really, really Nice
Jay-Z: Nice and ridiculously rich
Mitt Romney: Naughty and ridiculously rich – also irrelevant, but Obama holds a grudge
Mohamed Morsi: Nice for the impressive power grab
Benjamin Netanyahu: Naughty, just on principle
George W. Bush: Naughty and Obama will milk it for four more years
Food stamp recipients: Nice – and this is why Obama’s Nice list a lot bigger than it was last year
One Percenters: Naughty, big time
One Percenters who bundle for Obama: Did he say Naughty? He meant Nice
New York Times, ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, CNN: Nice – and thanks!
Fox News: Naughty
And as we approach both, I am wondering which is worse: The fiscal cliff or the Mayan calendar end of the world scenario? The Mayan doomsday may be better as it could be quick and painless. And, just in case the Mayan’s were right, I’ve stopped buying green bananas. (If they were wrong, I’ll be in a bit of a bind for Christmas shopping.) The fiscal cliff will be slow, but painful. Fortunately, President Obama has spent the last four years preparing us for it by keeping the economy in the tank.
With all of this discussion of the fiscal cliff, I leave you with one last question to ponder: How many babies born in December will be named Fiscal Cliff?